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Our busy lives sometimes feel like they are spinning out of control. We have so many places to be and things to cross off our “to-do” list we tend to lose track of the little things we can do to add meaning to our lives and make our family feel appreciated.

Our jobs as mothers entail a lot of areas where we nurture our children – from helping our children learn everyday life skills, kissing boo-boos and displaying the values we hope our children will adopt.  I like to encourage moms to look at what the atmosphere is like in their homes.   Is it chaotic, full of stress and just a home-base – running in and out while on the way to other activities?  It can easily become just a “pit-stop” in the crazy life with kids or it can become a haven where your family wants to come to, receive rest and refreshment.  How do you see your home?

One of the primary duties we are called to as mothers and wives is to create an atmosphere and environment in our home where our family can be refreshed, re-energized and renewed – a sanctuary.

Our family is bombarded with negative influence, harsh words and unrealistic expectations outside the walls of our home. Most everyone comes home after doing something that has consumed the best energy of his or her day. Everyone is tired, but dinner must be prepared, homework completed, and chores accomplished.

I greatly value creating a haven for my family – not only for the sake of my children, but also for my spouse.  Intentionally designing a place where they can be free from fear, where spirits can flourish, and revel in the simple things that truly matter.  Everyday our family is bombarded with outside influences – my question to myself is what and how can I help make my home a place of restoration so that they may be ready for the next day?

A few things I keep in mind and feel are important when creating a haven for your children:

Show Kindness

How kind are you toward not only your children but to your spouse? Do you treat your children with the same sweetness you offer a visitor you bring into your home?  Often we treat strangers better than we treat our own family. I know I find myself falling into old, bad habits when I am stressed and feeling pressure. My tone of voice, my body language, how I complete a task, my attitudes are all areas I have to constantly be aware of.

Moms are the barometer in the house, if you are in a good mood and it shows, generally everyone else feeds off the energy and falls in behind you!  Kind words welcome relationship, and that is our main goal in our home, building family relationships.

Create a warm atmosphere

Simple things like turning on music and lighting candles will create a restful ambiance for our family to enjoy.  Who wouldn’t love to come home to a place where you feel your load lighten the minute you walk in the door?  Children especially are sensitive to sounds, smells and visual elements.  I know my family will immediately comment on a certain smell when they walk in the door – it may be bread baking in the oven or cookies cooling on the counter, there is no other welcoming gesture than smelling something ‘homey’ after a rough day.  If you are not a baker, invest in a few candles that do the trick for you!

Keep an orderly home

Managing our home effectively nurtures our family; it communicates our love in a tangible manner. Our family benefits from our management on a daily basis, less chaos means less time wasted looking for things. When the house is in order, the stress level is down for everyone, which results in a place where family members can be refreshed, re-energized and renewed.  I believe my kids find comfort in knowing that they will have clean clothes ready for them in the morning to get off to school on time.  The alternative is a rushed morning quickly washing what you can or finding something in the hamper what will just have to “do” until you can do a load of laundry.  I know I don’t want my children to develop that type of habit to carry into adulthood.

Limit Media

I am not against media, but I do think it can become a habit to have the TV on for extended periods of time with no real value.  By setting limits with regard to which programs are allowed and actually reflect your family values, you will provide a safe place for your children as well as encourage other activity that often gets lost when screen time takes priority.  Although media can be seen as only TV, you also need to consider video games, radio station choices, and computer viewing.

Being Present

A haven is more of a haven when parents are around.  Simply being there for your child creates a space of safety – a place where you interact purposefully.  It is easy to fall into the trap of multi-tasking, but try to make sure you set aside time where you can give your children and your spouse your undivided attention.  By giving your child focused and undivided attention your child will feel that he is completely loved and truly important to you. Being present, engaged and open to conversation will help develop the relationships you desire to create and will sustain over the years – and it starts in the home.

This list could go on with other wonderful examples and principles to incorporate in order to create a haven for your family – what ways are you intentionally creating a place of refreshment in your home?

Post written by Susan Heid…

Susan Heid is the mom behind The Confident Mom where she loves inspiring  moms to make small changes managing their home and family life giving them more time, less stress and stronger family relationships! She enthusiastically wears the hat of mom, step-mom and foster mom to 4 awesome kids – ages 18, 14, 10 and 17 months; is married to her very own prince charming, loves coffee, cloudy days, and does think the bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle.  Her FREE 5 part mini series: “The Opening Act” is helping moms worldwide become the calm mom they want to be!  Join the community of moms on Facebook or find her @ConfidentMom on Twitter.

Soon summer will be a distant memory and we all will be knee deep in school papers, math books, lunch boxes and hectic schedules.  I know I love the less structured atmosphere of the summer months, but honestly – I cannot wait to return to the familiar routine that the school year brings.

As a mom of four, I have certainly found some tested and true tips that help transition our family into the structure of a new school year.  Use some of these ideas to prepare your home and family for the busy days ahead.

Transition your family schedule

You are surely looking for trouble if you wait until the day before school to make necessary changes to your family routine. During the last two weeks of summer, re-introduce a school year bedtime. Begin waking late sleepers earlier and earlier, closer to the hour they’ll need to rise when school begins.  Gradual change will help everyone adjust – especially mom!

The free-flowing summer schedule often means dinner time is a fluctuating time.  I am a strong believe in consistent routine, especially for younger children.  Figure out what times will work best for your family to have breakfast, lunch (perhaps finding out what time they will be having lunch during the school day) afterschool snacks, as well as a set dinner time.  Adapting to the new meal routines in advance will be one less thing to interfere in creating smooth routines for your family.

Create a Central Family Calendar

With school comes more activities, deadlines, lists and need for a centrally organized family calendar.  No one can make sense of anything when you are drowning trying to find information or know what is on the agenda for that day.  Chaos will ensue.

Calm that chaos by finding a system that works for your family and then USE IT! I have used many different notebooks, wall calendars and organizers but finally I have found something that works for everyone in my family.  I use Cozi, it is a FREE online calendar where you can keep everything all in one place – appointments, family calendar, to-do lists, grocery lists, and so much more.  You have the ability to send reminders to family members about appointments with a click of a mouse – great for teens and spouses!  When I set the appointment I can choose who to send a message to as the time draws near.  I just click and off goes a text message reminding them of baseball later that night.

You have a shared family calendar which you can color code by family member and their activity, print out a day at a time or a week at a time to post on the frig and anyone you give your log-in information to can access the calendar online at any time.  Make sure you check this out if you are looking for a system for you family.

Take On the Morning Madness

How are school mornings in your home? Do you dread mornings because they are crazy and chaotic?  Do you dream of calm mornings where everyone has clear expectations of what they are required to do?  Take time to plan ahead to create that pleasant morning you desire to send your children–and yourself–out the door to face their day in a happy frame of mind.

Each evening, take a few minutes to think ahead about what will need to get accomplished the following morning.  What can you do in advance?  Can you set the breakfast table as you clear the dinner dishes?  How about making sure breakfast foods are easy to reach for everyone in your family? Lay out children’s clothing the night before. How about making lunches the evening before? Check homework planners, pack library books and check for any other school papers what need to be returned to school.

If you have not created a central location for your children to place papers they bring home from school, set up an “in box” and an “out box” for each child so you can stay organized. By creating a dedicated space for every family member, you will get the family out the door in record time and with all the supplies they need for their day.

Do “bathroom wars” break out daily among your children – fighting for access to the main bathroom?  You may need to institute a bathroom schedule so that everyone gets equal time and no one is wasting time waiting outside the closed door.  Each child will have their allotted time and they can be focusing on other tasks while waiting.

Be Prepared at Home

A lot of focus is given to buying school supplies for your child to take to school to being their year, but don’t forget to pick up extras for your home.  By having extra paper, pencils, markers and note cards already on hand you will avoid having to run out at the last minute to purchase these.  Normally you will end up paying a much higher price, since all the school supplies are on sale right now, but won’t be in January when you need that pack of 100 note cards!  If you find that you didn’t use them during the year, then you can send them off to school with your child the following year.

The new school year is full of excitement, anticipation and expectation.  You can help set the tone for you and your family and create a year full of great memories by taking some time before school begins to get prepared!

Post written by Susan Heid…

Susan Heid is the mom behind The Confident Mom where she loves inspiring  moms to make small changes managing their home and family life giving them more time, less stress and stronger family relationships! She enthusiastically wears the hat of mom, step-mom and foster mom to 4 awesome kids – ages 18, 14, 10 and 17 months; is married to her very own prince charming, loves coffee, cloudy days, and does think the bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle.  Her FREE 5 part mini series: “The Opening Act” is helping moms worldwide become the calm mom they want to be!  Join the community of moms on Facebook or find her @ConfidentMom on Twitter.