For Firstborns, Secondhand Baby Clothes Fits the Bill
MICAH HILDENBRAND and her husband, Eric, are corporate lawyers who live in an affluent neighborhood in Washington and drive a Lexus SUV. But when their son, Chase, was born in January, they trawled friends’ garages rather than shop at places like Buy Buy Baby, the megastore that caters to new parents.
Nearly all of Chase’s belongings are hand-me-downs or were bought secondhand, from the onesies to the fully tricked-out Bugaboo Cameleon the top of the line Dutch stroller that the Hildenbrands bought on a listserv for a fraction of its $900 price tag. Mrs. Hildenbrand said that a good salary wasn’t reason enough to spend money that might not always be there. “We want to hedge in case something does happen,” she said.
Observers of baby consumerism say such caution is not unusual these days. It is mirrored in the declining fortunes of the $343-million “play and discover” market toys and goods marketed to parents of children under a year old which has fallen by more than a third over the last year and a half. The recession, it seems, has catalyzed a moment of reflection among the formerly free-spending new-parent set: used is good; free is best. New purchases have become more considered, less spontaneous.
Experts say the children’s market is just playing catch-up to a radical consumer shift taking place across all luxury sectors. But some say the new attitude reflects a broader change in perspective when it comes to conspicuous consumption for young children. No longer is it necessary to buy a thousand-dollar changing table in order to prove your parental savvy and breadth of love; if anything, the opposite is true.
THIS new frugality is celebrated by anti-consumerism groups, dreaded by retailers, and mused over by social scientists who say we might be on the cusp of raising a new generation of depression-era babies. Not only are children named after their grandparents these days, but all those Rubys, Sadies and Harrys at the playgrounds may end up thinking like them as well.
“The recession has liberated us from a lot of the consumer expectations so that we can have a big enough space to feel really comfortable just giving our kids a pot and a spoon,” said Robbie Blinkoff, a cultural anthropologist at Context-Based Research Group, an ethnographic marketing research firm in Baltimore.
Susan Linn, the director of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, agrees. The recession, she said, provides a chance for families to back away from “a pattern of escalation in spending on children.”
She added, “This is a good time to look at whether this is good for kids generally and not just for families whose income has been diminished.”
Retailers like Lisa Mahar have certainly noticed a change.
“Three years ago, in the heyday of the moment, someone would come into the shop and say, ‘I want the most expensive thing you have,’ ” said Ms. Mahar, a designer of educational toys and the owner of Kid O, a toy shop in Manhattan.
But now, she said: “People are much more discreet how they shop. Large orders are placed on the phone. And at birthday parties I see a difference. No one will bring a $300 LikeaBike anymore. Culturally, it’s just not acceptable anymore. Even for those who can afford a $200 toy.”
Sam Apple, a writer and father of three who lives in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn and recently wrote a memoir called “American Parent,” said, “This is definitely a Craigslist economy.”
Mr. Apple’s book navigates the tricky shoals of parenting, child-rearing and shopping from the bewildered perspective of the inundated new dad. Like the Hildenbrands, Mr. Apple and his wife, Jennifer, thumb their noses at what the blogosphere calls the “baby industrial complex.” For their first child, the house was filled with new, luxe and name-brand items.
“New parents are the ideal targets for marketers,” he said. “They’re confused and anxious almost by definition.”
But for their new twins, they received a hand-me-down double stroller from friends and they plucked cribs from secondhand sales.
Some analysts are surprised at how quickly new parents have begun to wise up.
While that market climbed 75 percent from 2003 to 2007, last year was a different story altogether. In the first 10 months of 2008, even before the economy had experienced its most marked downturn, the play and discover market began to collapse, losing about one-third of its retail value, Mr. Dowd said.
For many companies, it has only become worse. Mattel owner of Fisher-Price, Barbie and American Girl, among others saw a 15 percent drop in first-quarter sales this year. Dorel, the parent of the company that makes the haute Dutch stroller, the Quinny, and the plush Maxi-Cosi infant car seat, reported a 17.7 percent decrease in sales for their juvenile segment in North America and Europe for the same period.
Even Bugaboo, the company that is at the forefront of the luxe stroller movement, has felt the pinch. After growing nearly 33 percent each year from 2005 to 2008, a spokeswoman for the company recently said it is now hoping to clear 3 percent growth this year.
MEANWHILE, brands like Skip Hop, known for its “Duo” diaper bag which, at $54, hit the midprice sweet spot are doing well. In fact, 2008 was Skip Hop’s best year yet, said Ellen Diamant, a founder. “People are being less indulgent,” she said, but they are expecting a lot more for their money. “They want gorgeous design, they want ethical, they want organic. But they don’t want to pay what they would have paid a year ago.”
Trying to hit that same note, Oeuf, the line of modern cribs that entered the market at $900, recently introduced a $500 crib made of eco-friendly wood.
“Fashionability of product is beginning to change,” said Chris Sanderson, a director of Future Laboratory, a trend-forecasting group based in London. “Something that is cool has longevity, inherent sustainability and good design.”
“The reason for the change, Mr. Sanderson said, has much to do with an “emotional response to the glut of consumerism.”
Such consciousness is championed by those who have long protested the encroachment of consumerism into parenting. Until recently, children in America received, on average, 70 new toys a year, Ms. Linn said. She calls the recession an opportunity to have a conversation with children about the rampant spending on their behalf.
Marketers, she said, “use fear to make parents buy things they really don’t need. We are not going to live sustainably in a culture that is built on excessive consumption.”
Jennifer Cavalleri and Dan Durkin, who had twins in April, are very much in tune with Ms. Linn’s thinking.
“For us it’s less the economy and more about lessening our environmental impact,” said Dr. Cavalleri, who recently received a doctorate in environmental health at Harvard.
The couple took hand-me-downs from relatives, and gleaned gear from a twins support group.
Greg Allen, whose blog, daddytypes.com, monitors the industry, said: “There is a sense that there is just so much stuff for kids already out there that the idea of buying brand-new seems completely unnecessary. Even sexy stuff is eye candy at best, and there is no guarantee your kid will like the expensive Alexander Calder pull toy you bought.”
“When you discover that, you focus on what your kid really likes and needs, which is a very small percentage of what’s out there.”
8 Smart Tips to Help You Afford a Baby
A new bundle of joy can cost a bundle, and incomes haven’t kept up with rising costs. But a little creativity can keep you from being priced out of starting a family.
Jennifer Rescigno, a 35-year-old recruiter in Sussex, N.J., is thinking about having a baby. But she worries about affording the home, food and health care that she knows her family would need.
“I would just prefer that we have certain things in place — a certain amount of money in the bank, a home of our own, a job with benefits and good family leave,” Rescigno says. She and her husband, Lance, are still paying off around $3,000 in credit card debt and renting an apartment.
Couples considering having kids increasingly find themselves financially squeezed on two ends: The cost of having children is escalating while the economy is tightening. The Agriculture Department estimates that middle-income married couples spend around $11,000 a year on each child, an increase of around $2,500 since 1997. (See “Raising your $299,000 baby.”) Meanwhile, other rising prices have added to the pressure.
Child-care costs can be particularly intimidating, with day-care centers costing an average of $12,000 a year, according to The Bump. (See “The child-care crisis.”) When you add in other expenses, such as health care and lost wages from maternity leave, the first year of a baby’s life can easily cost $30,000, says Carley Roney, the editor of The Bump and mother of a newborn herself.
“Being emotionally ready is one thing, but if you don’t have the finances, it can completely ruin it for you,” she says.
Subtle cultural shifts — women have more control over their fertility than previous generations, for example — are also at play. “Women of the 1950s often expected that having a child was a way to grow up,” says Stephanie Coontz, the director of education and research for the Council on Contemporary Families. “Most women today see having a child as something you do once you already feel grown up.”
Some costs can be controlled, and others just need to be prepared for in advance. Here are some creative ways to get ready for an addition to the family:
Spend wisely. A new baby need not mean a new house, says Paul, whose 18-month-old son and 3-year-old daughter share a room. “You don’t need a three-bedroom house if you have two kids,” she says. Relying on secondhand clothes and toys can also reduce daily expenditures. (See “Save a bundle on your new baby.”) Lynne Ticknor, a parenting consultant in the Washington, D.C., area, recommends buying outfits at consignment stores, especially since young children grow out of clothes so quickly.
Check on benefits. People are afraid to ask about workplace policies because they fear it’s not appropriate, says Roney, and they are often surprised when they learn that taking maternity or paternity leave to care for a newborn comes with a pay reduction or no pay at all.
Weiss suggests checking up on health insurance coverage, particularly when it comes to well-baby checkups, which can cost more than $100 per visit (get quotes). She also recommends researching long-term-disability and life insurance options, some of which can be relatively inexpensive when added to existing health plans. Financial advisers say parents need life insurance that will provide for their families in the event of their deaths. Usually that means a policy worth at least 10 times their current income (get quotes).
Make trade-offs. Paul Golden, 34, a spokesman for the National Endowment for Financial Education in Denver and father of two young sons, says that after child-care costs, he and his wife were netting less than $10,000 a year. They decided to reduce their retirement savings and delay putting money away for their kids’ college tuition until their child-care costs go down as their sons get older.
Wait until after the birth to start spending. While parents-to-be often want to buy mountains of baby gear in advance of the big day, Roney recommends that parents borrow things from friends until they know what suits their baby’s temperament and size. Robin Elise Weiss, a childbirth educator and author of baby-related books, says parents often buy too much stuff for their newborns.
“Car seats are a must, and so are cribs, but some of the luxury items, like a $700 stroller, are not,” she says, although she adds that some big purchases, such as a $300 breast pump, may be worth the investment.
Plan ahead. When Golden and his wife were buying a home, they settled on one with a mortgage much smaller than were approved for because they knew child-care costs would strain their budget. “If we had (taken the larger mortgage), once we had kids and put them in day care, we would have been swimming,” he says. He recommends that parents-to-be live below their means in advance of having kids so expanding the family doesn’t cause a big financial shock.
Starting a “baby fund” ahead of time can also make the transition to parenthood easier, recommends Roney. She suggests putting away between $5,000 and $10,000 before giving birth to cover immediate costs such as child care, health insurance and diapers.
Practice budgeting. To encourage couples to consider the costs of parenthood, Ticknor suggests that they try living on $550 less each month or, if one person plans to stop working, to try living entirely on the other person’s income before the baby arrives.
Think creatively. Mooney, who has a 5-month-old, chose to move back home with her parents when she decided to become a single mom. “I wasn’t financially ready (to have a baby),” she says, adding that biologically, in her late 30s, she couldn’t wait much longer. In addition to saving on rent and food, Mooney gets free child care; her mother takes care of her son while she works.
Take the plunge. “Don’t wait until you can afford kids because it will never happen,” says Being Frugal blogger Lynnae McCoy, 36, the mother of a 10-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son. She makes ends meet by passing hand-me-down clothes among friends, volunteering at the YMCA in exchange for a free membership and swapping baby-sitting duties with friends. “I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom,” she says. “To make it happen, you have to set priorities.”




