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Being pregnant can be one of the most satisfying experiences that a woman can have as long as she feels supported and secure about her situation. Some single pregnant women are lucky enough to have the father of the baby present during the pregnancy while some aren’t so fortunate. here are few tips:

Get prenatal care – it is so important for you to be aware of what is going on with your body and your baby’s developments. Also, don’t just settle for the doctor that the clinic provides you – “shop” until you find one that you feel will fit your personality and suit your own needs. My first OB-GYN was a bit too cold and impersonal then I met one that was more warm and a bit granola, which was more suitable to my personality and needs.

Find a social worker – they will help you find the resources that you need; whether if it’s adoption agencies or single parenting groups. The clinic that you go to for prenatal care will usually provide you with a social worker but they just pick at random so make sure you keep meeting with social workers until you find the one who you feel will answer all of your questions and concerns. They can act as an advocate and therapist for you.

Know your legal rights as a parent – if the father does not want to be on the birth certificate you have a few options, i) when the baby is born leave the father section “unknown”; or ii) get a “Paternity Action”; a court suit filed to have a man declared the father of the baby if you wish to have child support. Check out this website for some resources on your legal rights or go to your state’s official government website for more information.

Get covered - If you have a job and they provide insurance then you’re covered. Most insurances cover the costs of prenatal care though you may have to make a co-payment for your first visit and time of labor. If you just started a new job and the insurance has started yet then apply for your state’s health insurance. They will provide health insurance for pregnant women and children under the age of 19. If you don’t have a job then do the same as those who just started a new job.

Get assistance – Apply for WIC, and TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families) aka Welfare. Forget your pride and ego; when you’ve got an infant to support not of that matters. You’ve got to do what you can do provide for your child. Even if you feel that you may over-qualify for any assistance try and go to the social services offices in-person. I sometimes find that if you go in-person then they have to listen to you and give you a chance.

Get educated – Apply for a Child Birth Education class as soon as you hit 5 months and enlist your best friend or someone you really trust to attend with you. I was fortunate enough to have an amazing male-friend (completely platonic) to attend the classes with me but it would be best if the person who attends with you will be there for the birth. The sooner you apply for the class the better because they fill up pretty quickly. Some classes are a one full-day session (usually held on Saturdays) and some are 6 weeks. I suggest taking the 6 week session since by the time you take them (around 7 months) you’re not going to want to sit on your bum for a full day. Your OB-GYN will provide you with class dates but if you’d like to take a more natural approach I would suggest doing some research on Bradley-method classes in your local area.

It’s so important to be knowledgeable about your pregnancy not only for your wellness but your baby’s as well and to know that you’re not alone.

Register - This doesn’t have to feel like a chore because it’s just like putting together a Christmas or Birthday wish list but for your “coming soon” baby. Some safe bets are Target, Walmart, and Babies R Us. Places I would register next if I ever have more children are Rock N Sprouts, Crunchy Granola Baby, or Land of Nod. One of the benefits of becoming a single mother is that when you register people tend to purchase all of what’s on your list since you will be a solo parent. So go ahead and put that crib, stroller, high chair, camera/camcorder and/or glider on your list.

Get a prenatal massage - With all that extra weight from the bowling ball that you’re carrying around, you’ll really feel like you need a massage. Get one before the baby arrives. I say this because I wish that I had done that before my son was born because now I just can’t find the time to even get a haircut let alone a day to myself at a massage day spa. Be sure to find someone who is certified in prenatal massage since it is very dangerous to lie down on your stomach. See if you can get away with putting that on your baby registry.

Enlist help - Whether if you need someone to help you with cleaning the house, cooking you dinner, putting together the nursery or to hold back your hair from all that projectile morning sickness, you’ll need it. Don’t be afraid to ask your sister, friend, parents, or neighbor for help. It’s so important to feel that you have a foundation of support (especially when you’re 8 months pregnant and feel like you can’t pull yourself out of bed). You’ll also need the help post-partum.

Build a community of fellow moms for yourself - Like I mentioned before you’re really going to need all the help and support you can get so it’s vital that you build yourself a community. During my pregnancy I felt so alone, even with the love and support of my friends & family but since I was the first of my friends to be pregnant and my family being on the other side of the country or incredibly busy there were just somedays that I felt I was in my own, dark, solitary world. It wasn’t until after my son was around 2 months that I didn’t feel so alone and that was because I had joined a parents group in my local area. It was so nice to talk with these women, some seasoned and some fresh out of the oven, who I could relate with and share my frusturations and joy. Just remember to branch out and reach out. Your sanity will be very thankful.

Read - There’s so many books and magazines to read but it’s so important for you to obtain as much knowledge as possible during pregnancy, post-partum, and throughout the rest of your child’s life. I actually had fun reading what’s out there for soon-to-be parents but most of it is targeted towards married expecting couples. Don’t let this discourage you at all because there are books out there for the single pregnant woman: The Single Woman’s Guide to a Happy Pregnancy, Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide, Going it Alone: The Single Woman’s Guide to Pregnancy and Birth (though she’s a New Zealander, the information she provides is still relevant). Before my son’s birth I was obsessed about fashion & music magazines but now I’m obsessed with parenting magazines like Parents, Family Circle, Fit Pregnancy, American Baby, Island Baby, Mothering, and list goes on and yes I’ve subscribed to all of them. Reading about pregnancy and becoming a parent can be so much fun because from all of these sources you can come up with some great ideas for decorating the nursery, fun feeding tips, or uncensored stories of motherhood. So start reading (or keep on reading since you’re obviously doing the research)!

Eat - Enjoy the time left of eating uninterrupted or with both hands. Eat healthy and indulge your desires. Just eat it. Of course during the 1st trimester food sounds disgusting (and during the 2nd trimester for some) but make sure you eat. Up until my 7th month I pretty converted to being a Vegetarian because meat looked disgusting and fake so I lived off of broccoli, fruit, fruit smoothies, yogurt, bread, and Cheddar Bunnies. Then my 8th month arrived and every food available to humans became so appealing which is how I ended up with stretchmarks. So enjoy the excuse of “I’m pregnant and need to eat for two,” while you can. Nourish yourself to nourish your baby.

Take pictures – Whether if you have someone take them for you or you take them yourself, you’re going to want to document your pregnancy so that you have wonderful memories to look back on. Plus, when you’re child is older they can see what they looked like while they were baking in the oven.

Make and take Y-O-U time – because as soon as that baby is out you will find it quite challenging to find time for a shower. If you have the finances treat yourself to a weekend getaway. Other things you could do is have a night in with your girlfriends, get a haircut (I still haven’t found time to get one 8-months post partum, my poor hair), get a mani-pedi, get that massage!, go to the movies, go shopping, cruise on the beach, or sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep as much as you possibly can because you won’t have much when the baby arrives.

Enjoy your pregnancy – It doesn’t matter if this pregnancy was planned or unplanned, enjoy being pregnant to the fullest. It’s a true gift to experience pregnancy for women. The amazing things that the female body can perform will astound you during your pregnancy because you will be able to feel your child’s growth inside of you; you and only you can know what that feels like. A special bond will develop that only you can experience. Every little fetal kick and hiccup will you bring you so much discomfort and joy. Those OB-GYN appointments where you get to hear your baby’s heart beat and see your baby through the ultrasound, they’re all for you to witness. You’re pregnant! Enjoy it to the fullest!

Being single and pregnant isn’t going to be easy but you get to be the sole parent to your child. There will be days when all you want to do is throw in the towel but remember with each bad there is a good. Life is what you make it and if you choose to make a happy and stable life for your child then you’re headed in the right path.

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